APA paper editing

INSTRUCTION:

At first glance, you notice the paper is a complete mess. Riddled with each and every type of error known. Some of the sentences don’t even make sense.

Your task is to help Ima put some lipstick on this before she turns it in.

Use the expanded APA Form and Format to make corrections to Ima’s paper.

Fix all of the errors and rewrite sentences that are unclear as best you can. Don’t worry about the mismatch between in text citations and the reference list.

FORMAT FOR THE PAPER

1 Proper Justification
? Left/Right/Top/Bottom
2 Running head: First Page
? Upper and Lower Caps:
? Running head cap and ?head? Lower Cap:
? Proper Font and Font Size:
? Left Justified:
? Title consistent with Title page Title of Paper:
? Title consistent with Title of Paper second page:
? Title up to, but not over 50 characters including spaces
? Within header, above top justification
3 Page numbers:
? Proper font and size
? On every page, including first
? On same line as Running head
? Not bleeding over to second line
4 Running head: Second page and beyond
? All Caps:
? No ?Running head? before title:
? Proper Font and Font Size:
? Left Justified:
? Title consistent with Title page Title of Paper:
? Title consistent with Title of Paper second page:
? Title up to as many as possible words, but not over 50 characters including spaces
? Within header, above top justification
5 Title Page Information
o Article Title
? Consistent with Running head and Title on second page
? Proper Font and Size – Centered
? Upper one third to one half of page
o Name of Student
? No credentials/nicknames
? Proper Font and Size – Centered
o Institution
? Proper Font and Size ? Centered
? No additional information
6 Title: Second Page
? Consistent with Running head and title on title page
? Correct font and size
? Centered?not bold?not italics
7 Body of paper
? Double spaced
? Proper font and font size
8 References
? Proper title on separate page?font?size?double-spaced
? Centered?not bold?not italics
? Proper indentations: Hanging indents
Minor-1/4 point errors

9 In Text Citations ? In proper format

10 Reference Page Listings ? In proper format

11 Indents ? Standard 0.5? Throughout paper

12 Proper use of Quotations:
? NO DIRECT QUOTES
? Appropriate use of quotation marks
13 Proper use of Abbreviations
? Always spell out abbreviation at first presentation within paper?then identify abbreviation.

14 Numbers use proper throughout paper.
? Numbers less than ten.
? Numbers greater than ten or greater.
? Numbers with commas.
15 Grammar, Spelling, Punctuation
? As appropriate to APA professional writing standards.
? Always write in Active Voice.
? No compound or fragment sentences.
? Avoid all pronouns ? she, he, it, we, our, my, I, etc.
? Avoid ambiguous terms or terms without meaning ? proven, doctor, etc.

PAPER:

Nursing Research
Dr. Lucky?s Class
Nursing 322
Critical Appraisal
Ima Jones, Indiana Nursing Studnt
Indiana State University

Introduction
This is a critical appraisal of a published article we all know as Comparison of Vitamin D Deficiency and Secondary Hyperparathyroidism in Obese and Non-Obese Children and Adolescents (Ghergherechi et al., 2012) witch was published in Pakistan Journal Of Biological Sciences.
Problem and Purpose
The Purpose of this non- randomized study is to study the prevalence of vitamin D deficiency and secondary hyperparathyroidism in fat kids. Imposing of prevailing and treating charges which arises from diseases related to obesity to the care and health systems has significantly increased within the last 20 years and led to considerable growth in economical charges (Wang and Dietz, 2002).
Review of the Literature
Obesity is an important health and therapeutic problem in the developing and developed countries. It has significantly increased during the last two decades (Esmaeily et al., 2009, Gholamreza and Mohsen, 2007). Obesity subjects individuals into metabolic and endocrine disorders (Gherghechi et al., 2012, p. 149). Such complications can threat children?s health and increases load of disease on country care and health system (El-Helaly et al., 2009; Afridi et al., 2003).
Conclusions
Big and fat children are definitely at risk for having vitamin D deficiency and secondary hyperthyroidism. It seems that BMI may be an important risk factor for vitamin D deficiency. Considering the above cases, it is recommended that obese children especially those with high body mass index take routinely vitamin D supplementary treatment or routinely screened regarding vitamin D deficiency (Ghergherechi et al., 2012, p 150).

References
Afridi, A., M. Safdar, M.Khattak, and A. Khan, 2003. Health risks of overweight and obesity:
an overview.Pak.J.Nutr., 2: 350-360.
Alsayed, A.,A. Gad, and A. Azab, 2007. Serum 25-hydroxyvitamin D concentrations and
metabolic syndrome in Egyptian men. J.Medical Sci.,7:850-854.
El-Helaly, N., Y..Kamel,, E. Abd-Elaziz, A. Elwan and M. Nabih, 2009. Childhood obesity and
asthma severity:is there a link? J. Biol. Sci.9: 259-263.
Parikh, S.,M. Edelman, G. Uwaifo, R. Freedman, M. Semega-Janneh, J. Reynolds, and J.
Yanovski, 2004. The relationship between obesity and serum 1, 25-dihydroxyl vitamin D concentration in healthy adults. J. Clin. Endocrinol. Metab., 89: 1196-1199.
Wang, G. and W. Dietz, 2002. Economic burden of obesity in youth aged 6 to 17 years: 1979-
1999. Pediatrics,109: E81-E91.

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