Speed Writing Exercise

| January 12, 2016

Sentences and Paragraphs Speed Writing Exercise

Part 1 – Sentences. Take the paragraph below and revise it so (1) its sentences show subjects and verbs that are close to each other,

(2) the average number of words in each sentence is 20, and (3) the results embody the three sentence patterns covered in the reading

and thus, show the rhetorical relationship in-between sentences.

Additionally, the syntax in the information below may or may not embody the rhetorical techniques we’ve covered in class so far.

Therefore, you’re responsible for correcting and/or avoiding any grammatical and structural challenges within your rewrite (e.g.,

correcting passive voice, demonstrative constructions, false subjects, and etc.). (40 pts.)

We, so that we can best serve the rapidly evolving needs of our clients throughout the world, are making the change from one to two

tightly focused, discipline-specific companies, as well as associated changes in the organization of our sales and services division.

This sharpened market focus will enable our representatives to be more knowledgeable about the products that are being represented by

our sales teams to our customers. All of these changes are being made so we can provide better support to our customers. This new

alignment will also work better as we strive to create coordination with what our international companies are doing.

Part 2 – Paragraphs. The information below comes from “How Green is Wal-Mart” and appeared in an issue of FastCompany. Using the

information found in this passage, write either an explanation/description paragraph or a list/number paragraph.

Additionally, you’re responsible for using the rhetorical techniques we’ve covered in class so far. (Note: you don’t have to use all of

the information found in this passage—just use the information that will allow you to write the best paragraph possible.) (40 pts.)
Recently, Wal-Mart CEO Lee Scott outlined some bold environmental and sustainability goals for the company. In the information that

follows, you’ll see both the goal and the status of some of these major initiatives.
Energy-Saving Stores
Goal: New stores to use 30% less energy; existing stores to reduce greenhouse-gas footprint by 20%.
Status: Wal-Mart (NYSE:WMT) opened two energy-saving stores in 2005 and plans four more this year—a fraction of its hundreds of new

stores. But the company is installing motion-activated LED lighting in refrigerated cases in new stores and retrofitting 500 stores

with LED lighting, 350 with energy-saving HVAC systems, and 400 with more-efficient refrigeration systems.
Caveat: Wal-Mart now says new stores will be “25% to 30%” more efficient by 2009. Scott’s original goal was 30%.
Sustainably Farmed Shrimp
Goal: All shrimp to come from nonpolluting farms, certified by an NGO, by mid-2007.
Status: The company says all processing facilities, but not all farms, adhere to third-party standards.
Caveat: Wal-Mart now says farms will be 100% certified in the next 18 months.
Reducing packaging
Goal: Cut total packaging by 5% by 2013.
Status: This initiative, announced only last summer, roiled packaging companies and Wal-Mart’s suppliers. As an indicator of its

seriousness, in February Wal-Mart introduced a “packaging scorecard” to assess supplier progress on package reduction. This fall, Wal-

Mart and three major laundry-detergent makers will roll out concentrated liquid detergents with half the packaging.
Caveat: The goal sounds modest, but achieving it is harder than it sounds.

Category: Essay

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